Italian fishing village.  Celebrity haven.  Super douche super yachts. Tourist attraction.  Glorious holiday resort.  Portofino is all these things.

Tucked into the Italian Riviera coastline, just southeast of Genoa, lies Portofino. A slowly winding passage of narrow cliffside roads took us past villas as colorful as a gelato stand, designer boutiques featuring tiny bikinis and resort wear shimmering in the windows, and pricey seafood restaurants touting pictures of the celebrities who’ve dined there.  The Piazzetta, a cobblestone square surrounding the harbor, is full of super-yachts with names like “Naughty by Nature.”  A steep walking trail lined with statues of hot pink meerkats and walls covered in ivy led us from the Piazzetta to Castello Brown, a 16th-century fortress and museum with art exhibitions and panoramic views of the harbor and the crashing waves of the Ligurian Sea below.

We were stopped by a random police check point on our way in.  The officer was friendly and chatty, so we asked if he had a recommendation for lunch.  He suggested Ristorante Delfino as one of the decent and less expensive options in town.  In retrospect, I think he must have been pranking us as the food was average and ridiculously expensive.  I figured the price was just par for the area, but in reading reviews of Delfino, it seems everyone agrees that it is the most overpriced sub-par restaurant in Portofino.  The view was fantastic and our green salad and simple pasta bolognese were just fine.  It was the €25 Aperol Spritz that really killed me… that’s almost $30 for a drink that was $5-$8 everyone else we went.  Oh well – you live and learn.

We only stopped in Portofino as a lunch break to stretch our legs for a few hours on our way from Lake Como to Levanto, and though it was lovely, I think that was plenty of time for us!